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Post by paulwest on Jul 10, 2014 15:56:07 GMT -5
Charlie,
I'm finally reading your great grandfather's story. It's fascinating. So sad, how Sam and his brothers lost their parents and siblings all in one night, yet it shows how resilient he and his brothers were. I'm to the point where they just entered the S.L. Valley, deciding where they were going to live. That part where Sam saw the Indian was kind of scary. He must have been a friendly Indian.
I'm anxious to read on.
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Post by charlie on Jul 14, 2014 10:39:44 GMT -5
Paul,
I have been busy lately. We're trying to do some rework on our home and it takes time to get things worked out. Looking at bids, securing financing; that kind of thing.
Glad you're enjoying Destination Zion.
I haven't gotten around to sending a friend request to Sachiko (Rebecca) or T. Lynn. on Facebook.
My wife and I are going to my brothers for vacation at the end of July. Looking forward to that.
Take care.
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Post by paulwest on Jul 14, 2014 16:01:56 GMT -5
Have a good time with your brother. I wish I lived closer to my brother so I could spend time with him.
Michael Wright is also on Facebook
I'm at the point in your book where Sam is falling for Janette. I thought it was so sad, though, that Sam's Aunt and uncle wouldn't keep him and his brothers. They were what was left of his real family. It seems to me they had the responsibility but abdicated it.
My wife and I are going on an Alaska Cruise the first part of August. I've heard it's one of the best cruises. Have you done that?
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Post by charlie on Jul 15, 2014 16:17:31 GMT -5
It doesn't say a lot about why his aunt only kept Sam for a short time in the history I have. I know Issac Houston, the man she was married to, was in poor health at the time. That may have been a factor. The brothers, William and Cyrus, were already with families before this time.
I sent a friend request on Facebook to Shahiko (Rebecca) and she accepted the same afternoon (yesterday). I will do the same with Mike and T. Lynn soon. I am going to my grandson's 2nd birthday party tonight.
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Post by paulwest on Jul 15, 2014 17:30:38 GMT -5
Interesting about Sam's aunt. Maybe his uncle's health had a lot to do with it. But I would think having Sam around could help earn some extra money for the family. I'm sure they must have had some good reason.
Have fun at your grandson's birthday. I love it when my wife and I get with our grand kids.
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Post by paulwest on Jul 16, 2014 17:42:51 GMT -5
I just got off the phone with two people with the American Writers Association regarding their evaluation of my novel Bridge to Destiny. First thing, they asked if I'm in love with the title "Bridge to Destiny." I told them no, but I just can't think of anything better.
They then had some good comments and LOTs of praise for my writing. Several times they pointed to passages that showed great and unusual character development, great background information (Vietnam War), Great drama, etc. They said they'd found a couple of grammar glitches, but couldn't point them out. Guess I'll have to read through it again to find them.
They said they didn't like my old chapter 1. Like that publisher that recently reject me told me, they agreed it lacked a hook. Too much detail about the accident in chapter 1. They told me I should combine that chapter with my new chapter 1. They did say my original chapter 1 was very well written, and the new chapter 1 needed more in the way of character development and drama, though the drama there was good and Mark (the MC) came across as sympathetic.
They then asked to see my query letter, so I'm anxious to see what they think of that.
Next, I know, they're going to want me to pay them $700 to market my novel to agents and publishers. That ain't gonna happen, but I didn't let them know that. They said their critique services were free, so I'm not under any obligation, plus there's no way I'll be able to come up with that much money.
Overall, I think their evaluation was OK, not great, but OK.
Just thought you'd like to know how its' going.
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Post by charlie on Jul 22, 2014 12:09:03 GMT -5
It's nice to get any help you can, whether it be advise or critique or something else. How much it helps depends upon how we receive it and use it. My problem is I can sometimes be stubborn and will reject good advise if it doesn't coincide with my personal view of how a story reads. Sometimes I think it is good to go with your gut, so to speak. Stick to your guns in other words. More often you should listen to others who know about writing and what people find interesting and will read. I hope your interaction with these people helps you.
I'll be on vacation soon so probably won't post here for 2 or 3 weeks.
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Post by paulwest on Jul 23, 2014 16:58:09 GMT -5
You're probably right. But the company suggested I combine the first chapters of both versions and I think they're probably right. I just don't know how to go about it without ruining things. It's going to take me some time to get that to work.
I hope you have a great vacation. When you get back I'll probably be on my vacation. We're going on an Alaska Cruise. I'm really looking forward to it, just to kick back and relax for a change and have some great adventures along the Alaskan beaten tourist trails, ha ha.
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Post by charlie on Aug 18, 2014 18:53:16 GMT -5
Been back from vacation for a week or so. Tomorrow I am driving to Salt Lake to pick up a nephew flying in from Anchorage. We had a good time travelling through some country we'd not seen before. White pass which passes Mt. Ranier on the south side offered great scenic views. Seeing the ocean at Westport, WA was also awesome. We stayed at my brother's in Everett for several days and then drove to Townsend, MT where my aunt and uncle live and spent one night there. All in all an enjoyable time.
How was your cruise?
I can't say why I haven't had a desire to write, but it seems I just can't get motivated. Maybe something will break loose soon. I do have ideas for stories in my head, but if they just stay there then I'm the only one who knows about them. I have made a decision to write all new material under my own name, C. Allen Moore.
Also, I've been thinking strongly about self publishing an LDS romance/suspense I wrote several years ago which I pitched to several LDS publishers. None were interested, but I think it's a good story. I may also add a couple short Christmas stories I wrote to my KDP collection.
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Post by paulwest on Aug 19, 2014 13:48:58 GMT -5
Glad to hear (read) that you had a good time on your vacation. Washington is a beautiful state. Just has crazy people (liberals), but no worse than San Francisco.
As for doing what those people told me to do, combining the first two chapters of my novel, I decided not to. I started doing that and quickly realized I was ruining the story. It didn't work. Rather, I figured a way to make a stronger hook, since that was their main concern. I like this version, now. I've always heard that if the author doesn't feel good about something he/she wrote, he/she needs to go back and rework it until it feels good.
As for our trip, we got back from our Alaska Cruise a week ago Sunday. The Alaskan pan handle is awesome. We embarked from Seattle and our first stop was Juneau. It's a cute, quaint town. While there we took the whale watching tour where we saw several whales, sea lions, harbor seals, bald eagles, otters, etc.
Our second stop was in Skagway where we took the train to White Pass and back. Some wonderful scenery.
The next day we cruised to Glacier Bay. The glaciers are awesome. There must have been 20 or 30 glaciers that we saw.
Then we cruised down to Ketchecan where we toured the cute old town and the Totem Poll park.
The next day we stopped in Victoria, British Columbia and got a tour of the city - very nice, and the Butchard Gardens. A totally awesome garden about 45 miles out of Victoria. We were also treated to a fireworks display like we've never seen before.
The next morning we got back to Seattle and since we had several hours before our flight home, we toured the city and the Space Needle.
Overall, I'd go again tomorrow if we could afford it.
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Post by charlie on Sept 6, 2014 23:09:39 GMT -5
I wanted to let you know my wife and I decided to deactivate our Facebook accounts. We both felt much of the content pushes beyond what we're comfortable with. Plus it takes too much of our time where we feel we can be productive in better ways. Not that it is important. Just letting people know.
I am currently rereading (making a change here and there) a story (LDS themed) that I wrote several years ago.
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Post by paulwest on Sept 9, 2014 15:41:29 GMT -5
I think I can understand your concerns about Facebook. Personally, I haven't had any troubles there. I'm using it as a marketing tool. All my friends and associates, plus sites where I can get reviews and marketing help, are all for the eventual marketing of my novels.
I also find it a great way to connect with old friends I haven't talked to or seen for years, some back to my high school days, and even earlier.
Are you still going to come to this site? I still feel bad we are the only ones here. I talked to Sachiko about coming back but she wants to do everything on Facebook. TLynn and Michael as well.
Anyway, I hope to keep hearing from you in some way or another. I've enjoyed our friendship we've developed.
Paul
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Post by charlie on Sept 22, 2014 21:15:11 GMT -5
I apologize for not being around for awhile. Locally, my stake just reorganized boundaries and added a ward. I am staying in the ward I was in, but our Bishopric was released and another called. I got called as ward clerk. I had been assistant clerk for finances under the former Bishop. So I believe my time will be utilized more for the next little while. I will continue to pop in here and see in things are going.
Writing, unfortunately, has been slow for me. I continue to reread an old manuscript with the idea I may self-publish it. Still undecided even though I'm leaning toward it.
What's happening in your world? Are you working on new material? If you're like me, real life keeps you busy.
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Post by paulwest on Sept 24, 2014 12:37:41 GMT -5
Life is very busy. Working in the temple every Friday takes up almost half of my non-church weekend.
I'm revising my first novel Bridge to Destiny. However, I've changed the title to RETRIBUTION AND VINDICATION. Not sure I like that title either, but it hints more about the main theme. My revision, however, is extensive. I've decided to make the automobile accident in chapter 1 and toss it. Rather, I'm hinting about it as the MC (Mark) goes through trying to find out who caused the accident. Bits and pieces of the accident trickle into his memory. Eventually, he remembers all the incident as his life is threatened by the antagonist on the bridge where it all began.
I'm about 1/4 of the way through the revision, and it's going slow. I'm hoping to have it ready for marketing again sometime in January. Wish me luck.
BTW, I saw your comments in Authors by Design. Some good things to think about.
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Post by Charlie on Sept 29, 2014 13:26:27 GMT -5
I feel like your new title choice is long (with big words). I don't know if I'm saying that right. It's like a book I wrote called Culpability and Absolution. I think my title was somewhat cumbersome and in hind sight wish I'd chosen something else.
This new church calling is interesting. And time consuming. Yesterday I was at the church from 6 am to almost 5 pm. Looking forward to Gen. Conf. this weekend.
Did you and your wife go to the open house for the Ogden temple? We were not able to make it down there.
I got a small payment on my Destination Zion book so someone must have bought a copy.
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